I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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