oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
