Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
