A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
