all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
