And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
