I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
