Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
