Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
