I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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