He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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