Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
