If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
how do you play pong handcuffed?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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