I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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