dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
MIDGETS
????
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
