whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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