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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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