ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
