omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
