He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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