How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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