Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
