i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just cropdusted the office
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
