was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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