you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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