He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize