We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
