I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
