I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
