if i died would you start the facebook group?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
