i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
