He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
