so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
