I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
