my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
