you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
