I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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