you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
