I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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