Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize