Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize