i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
