just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
