I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize