Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
