dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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