K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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