ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
