I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
