ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize