i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
