I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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