The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
