I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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