So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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